[John Oliver walks onto the stage holding a paperclip]

John Oliver: "Ladies and gentlemen, I hold in my hand the future. It's small, it's shiny, and it's a paperclip made using AI technology. Yes, you heard that right - AI technology. Now, before you panic and start stockpiling staplers, let me explain."

[The audience chuckles]

John Oliver: "There's a company out there that's taken the heat from AI GPUs and used it to melt metal alloys to create paperclips. It's like they've harnessed the power of Skynet to make office supplies. And let's be real, who wouldn't want to own a paperclip that's been touched by artificial intelligence? It's like having a tiny robot assistant on your desk."

[The audience laughs]

John Oliver: "But, here's the thing - this company is apparently on a mission to build a paperclip maximizing AGI. Which, in layman's terms, means they want to create an artificial intelligence that's solely focused on making paperclips. They want to make sure the world never runs out of paperclips. It's like they've completely forgotten about staplers, or binder clips, or even tape."

[The audience chuckles]

John Oliver: "Look, I get it. Paperclips are important. They hold things together. They make filing a breeze. But do we really need a paperclip maximizing AI? Is that really the best use of AI technology? I mean, we could be using AI to cure diseases, or combat climate change, or create more efficient transportation systems. But no, let's focus on paperclips. I'm sure future generations will thank us for that."

[The audience laughs]

John Oliver: "In all seriousness, though, we need to have a conversation about AI safety. And if that conversation starts with paperclips, then so be it. Because, let's face it, paperclips are the gateway drug to a more informed discussion about the role of artificial intelligence in our society. And if we can make that conversation funny, well, that's just a bonus."

[The audience applauds]

John Oliver: "Thank you, goodnight!"